I think this is how the that historical conversation went:

Marketer 1: “Dude, we are not selling enough cake!”

Marketer 2: “I know. I saw the numbers. My bonus is going to suck this year” [big sigh]

Marketer 1: “I don’t get it. Cake is awesome. So why aren’t people eating more of it?”

Marketer 2: “Maybe because there’s only a limited number of birthday parties in a year?”

Marketer 1: “Yeah. It’s not like people are going to eat cake for breakfast everyday. [big laugh]”

Marketer 2: “Wait just a minute! Said that again?” [light bulb appears]

Marketer 1: “People aren’t going to eat cake for breakfast.” [slowly]

Marketer 2: “Who says people can’t eat cake for breakfast?” [defiant tone]

Marketing 1: “That just might be crazy enough to work!” [fist pounding on the desk]

Marketer 2: “But we can’t call it just “Cake”. It needs something else. Something more breakfasty.” [scans room for some clue]

Marketer 1: “What about just “Breakfast Cake?” [raises finger in air as if it was a great idea]

Marketer 2: “Too generic.” [rolls eyes in contempt of co-worker]

Marketer 1: “Morning Loaf?…” [meek tone]

Marketer 2: “I leave one of those every morning after my first cup of coffee.” [big laugh]

Marketer 1: “Coffee Cake?” [grasping at straws]

Marketer 2: “That’s it! People love coffee, but they need something to stuff their fat faces with in the morning. Why can’t that be cake?” [the 2 marketers hi-five and the scene fades to black]

And the rest is goes down in delicious pastry history…

• Norway has two gnomes or elfs. Nisse guards farm animals and plays tricks on childern if they don’t leave him a bowl of porridge. Julebukk is a goat-like creature who brings the gifts (Goat eyes creep me out).
• Germany has a guy called Weihnachtsmann (Christmas man) who is similar to Santa Claus.
• Holland has the traditional Saint Nicholas but he journeys in a boat with a guy named Black Peter who dresses in Spanish clothes (Nice. Get the Mexican guy to drive you).
• The Swiss have Christkindli, the Christ child, who brings gift in a sleigh pulled by reindeer (How the heck does a baby carry all those presents?)
• The Czech Republic has Svaty Mikalas who climbs down on a golden rope from heaven with an angel and a devil carrying a whip (The pleasure and the pain).
• In Italy, the childern wait for Befana, an ugly witch on a boomstick, to bring presents. Supposedly she missed going with the 3 kings to see baby Jesus so she is forever flying around lost (Women cannot read maps).
• The Austrians have Heiliger Nikolaus who give the kids candy, nuts and fruit (What? No Wii Fit! I got ripped off)
  

Found on Santa.net

1. Love
2. Life
3. Heart
4. Happy
5. Ignorance
6. Kiss
7. Friend
8. Ask
9. Berry
10. Music

I have a blog mining tool at my disposal called RelevantNoise which captures posts from millions of blogs. I can search against a person’s name then cluster the results and find out the most common words or phrases used in conjunction with the name. Some of them read like a Haiku.