This one is for you Graham
F*** My Life is an open blog for posting stories about your sad pathetic life.
Samples:
Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, “Is this some photoshop job?” She responded, “No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn’t we tell you?” FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and proceeded to clog an industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she proceeded to run out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn’t included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML
The owner of my company held a planning meeting for 2009 at her Park Avenue apartment. Along with the rest of the senior management team, I spent a couple days developing a strategy for surviving in a down economy.
About halfway through the first day, I totally bombed out the bathroom, which adjoined the space where the meeting was held. The toilet not only clogged, it overflowed. And not just after I flushed. It overflowed again and again, flooding into the meeting room as first the super, and then a plumber, tried desperately to unclog it. They plunged, they snaked, they failed. At one point, water was welling up from underneath the base of the toilet.
At the end of the planning meeting, as each attendee shared a highlight from the sessions, my colleague Kevin claimed that wading through my dirty toilet water was the best moment. I was proud.
FML. I forgot to type FML.
FML. I was at the meeting where Graham bombed out the toilet. FML.