Chance Bliss

Doodling helps your memory rather than just looking like you are paying attention.

If you have ever worked with a marketing department, rarely does the word “genius” come to mind. However, I would like to tip my hat to the people who came up with the concept of coffee cake. Coffee cake is one example where just simply changing the name of something creates a completely new avenue.

I think this is how the that historical conversation went:

Marketer 1: “Dude, we are not selling enough cake!”

Marketer 2: “I know. I saw the numbers. My bonus is going to suck this year” [big sigh]

Marketer 1: “I don’t get it. Cake is awesome. So why aren’t people eating more of it?”

Marketer 2: “Maybe because there’s only a limited number of birthday parties in a year?”

Marketer 1: “Yeah. It’s not like people are going to eat cake for breakfast everyday. [big laugh]”

Marketer 2: “Wait just a minute! Said that again?” [light bulb appears]

Marketer 1: “People aren’t going to eat cake for breakfast.” [slowly]

Marketer 2: “Who says people can’t eat cake for breakfast?” [defiant tone]

Marketing 1: “That just might be crazy enough to work!” [fist pounding on the desk]

Marketer 2: “But we can’t call it just “Cake”. It needs something else. Something more breakfasty.” [scans room for some clue]

Marketer 1: “What about just “Breakfast Cake?” [raises finger in air as if it was a great idea]

Marketer 2: “Too generic.” [rolls eyes in contempt of co-worker]

Marketer 1: “Morning Loaf?…” [meek tone]

Marketer 2: “I leave one of those every morning after my first cup of coffee.” [big laugh]

Marketer 1: “Coffee Cake?” [grasping at straws]

Marketer 2: “That’s it! People love coffee, but they need something to stuff their fat faces with in the morning. Why can’t that be cake?” [the 2 marketers hi-five and the scene fades to black]

And the rest is goes down in delicious pastry history…

When work sucks, these 3 movie scene always run through my head.

American Beauty – Blow me!

Fight Club – Fight me!

Half Baked – You’re cool

F*** My Life is an open blog for posting stories about your sad pathetic life.

Samples:
Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, “Is this some photoshop job?” She responded, “No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn’t we tell you?” FML

Today, I took a massive dump at work and proceeded to clog an industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she proceeded to run out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn’t included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I love videos like this one. A little humor, a little darkness and a lot of amazingly weird art. Brings me back to the early days of MTV when videos were visual storytelling experiments rather than just guys droppin benjamins on ho’s.

For those who star wars nerds who like form and function. Carrie Fisher actually wore this in her play Wishful Drinking.

Being a transplant from San Diego and having no ability to grow a beard, you can imagine how frustrating the winter is to me in New Jersey. Now I have found something that will ease the pain – The Beard Cap!!!! I immediately thought “Viking” and I was right. It was made in Iceland.

Too bad I will be subjection to public ridicule. Screw it! My face will be toasty warm (via Thing My Beard Can Lift).

Glow in the dark bacon t-shirts. I’ve already placed my order.

A whole site focused on those generic pictures of consumer service women (and some men) on headsets. Rate their perceived helpfulness or other “attributes” at headsethotties.com.

I was mentioning to someone the other day about a song that I couldn’t get out of my head. Every morning a few years back, I would wake up to the same lyrics. This went on for months. Now it’s happening again…!!!

“Hot Blooded” by Foreigner

Well, Im hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
Im hot blooded, Im hot blooded

You dont have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what youre doin after the show

Now its up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, Ill show you lovin like you never knew

Thats why, Im hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
Im hot blooded, hot blooded

If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But youve got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me

Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?

Yeah Im hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
Im hot blooded, Im hot blooded, Im hot

Now its up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, youll have to get away from you know who

Well, Im hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
Im hot blooded, Im hot blooded

Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, youre looking so tight
Hot blooded, now youre driving me wild
Hot blooded, Im so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, Im a little bit high
Hot blooded, youre a little bit shy
Hot blooded, youre making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing